Back to life

It's time to get this blog going again. For those who don't know me, I am either an interesting person with crazy ideas or a crazy person with interesting ideas. I'm indecisive but I'm Libran so I'm okay with that. I'm a happy angry young man. One person said of me that I was full of opinion but lacked knowledge, though I think that's just fine too since it is the person who admits he doesn't know that truly knows.

My background.... born and raised in London Ontario. From Westminster I went to the University of Western Ontario. I took two years off in the midst of my degree, spent a lot of time working late nights in restaurants cooking short-order meals, then returned to University to complete my degree in Political Science. The 7-year 3 year degree. I studied politics due to my simple attraction to the field, not because I intended to ever run for office. I also figured it would develop my critical thinking skills and broaden my horizons; preparing me to work in nearly any field.

Soon after that, I got married to a girl I'd known since High School and dated on-and-off. My love for her was in retrospect, more like an addiction, covering up the pains caused by sibling abuse (not assigning blame, it was just boys being boys in the 70's) a dominant overbearing mother and a quiet father who acquiesced on most matters. I was a late bloomer - something very difficult for 13/14 year old boys is to be at the end of the line from 'smallest to tallest.' In the absence of strong male role models, I created troubles for myself that until later in life I did not fully understand the ramifications of. I still carry a lot of anger, self-doubt, low self esteem, etc., but I'm learning every day to appreciate that these events have created who I am and that in the end, I'm sure it will all be valuable. I'm probably the most sensitive, honest person you'll meet, even if at times my shell is hardened and my tongue biting.

I am, by nature, a contrarian. I resist. Until recently this caused me a great deal of anguish. However, having read numerous 'self-help' and spiritually enriching books, I have learned to accept what is and work to change it. You can watch that process unfold on the posts on www.jppersonalwellness.blogspot.com

I've had an interesting few years of self discovery, not all of which I have been comfortable about or at peace with. Working backwards, what brought me here today was a period of self-doubt, soul searching, couch riding, job searching, resume submitting that began in April after 2-job offers really didn't pan out. In March, I'd been offered a job as a Vice President Sales and Marketing with a Maryland firm who's technology senses bluetooth devices in passing vehicles to provide traffic flow information. Nerdy stuff.

Prior to that, I'd worked for a UK publisher that puts out Thinking Highways magazine - a periodical detailing the workings of gadgets related to Intelligent Transportation Systems (ITS) and the public policy issues surrounding their deployment. This had come about as a result of my skills as a networker, my interests in transportation and my experience at Skymeter Corporation, a Toronto firm with a fascinating technology to charge vehicles for the roads they use, when they use them, thereby meting out road capacity in the fairest fashion possible.

Skymeter laid me off in September 2008, after about 20 months of sending me around North America to build their presence in the ITS world, to argue at industry conferences and Think Tanks for the rationalization of road payment systems and attempt to sell their wares to governments seeking to actually solve problems rather than place blame or make people feel badly about their limited transportation options. Guilt has never worked to get people to use public transit - they'd rather have their own music to listen to in a comfortable car if it's going to take forever to get anywhere anyway. Apparently we value money more than time.

I had started with Skymeter shortly after leaving the employ of Councillor Shelley Carroll in 2006 and after a lengthy discussion with a Toronto Law firm that had sought a lobbyist. These delays caused significant financial hardship due to the expensive lifestyle I 'enjoyed' in Toronto at that time. In retrospect, I might have given up the lease on My Nissan Altima a little sooner but hindsight as they say, is a jackasses game.

I split with my ex-wife in 2005 which was also around the time that I had moved from Councillor Michael Walker's office to Councillor Carroll's after a 6 year stint with Michael. I had a significant disagreement about the politicization of the issue of how the City of Toronto could best provide help in the relief of those who'd been faced with human tragedy in the Tsunami in South East Asia in Christmas 2004. Michael had been grooming me to run after he retired, though he ended up running again in 2006. I'd also passed up the opportunity to seek election with the support of various Ratepayer Associations against Anne Johnston in Eglinton Lawrence in the wake of the Minto Development at Yonge and Eglinton. All good things happen for a reason and I thank my lucky stars today for the decisions I've made in the past.

So...that is the story. Since April I have looked in vain for jobs, or rather for opportunities to build my career in a more fulfilling way. I suppose there are various reasons nothing has really worked out or that I sit here in my bed, at my parents house, avoiding the phone calls of collection agents seeking a pound of flesh. Those reasons have still not become clear to me but I am sure in good time, they will.

I wanted to quickly write a blog to hold a place and re-introduce myself or introduce myself whichever the case may be, to those I've not yet met or those that follow links from various pages that I have or will post my blog address on.

I will shortly post another blog about what my ideas are for the future. I live in the Now and believe that the universe will eventually provide me with answers to the deep questions I ask. Til then, my love and respect to you and thanks for reading and taking an interest!