Oh London. What do you think that button that says 'Reply' means anway?

A Contrarian by nature

I went to Western in the 90’s. I say 90’s because my career started in 91 and ended in 98. That’s a total of 6 years living around the world of Western students. I took the years between 93 and 96 off and worked in kitchens, partied a lot but also had a radio show at CHRW.

I enjoyed my time at Western if for no other reason it concreted my feelings about revolution and well, not quite fitting in. A friend once said she thought I was aloof while I was there. That’s probably accurate. In that instance it may have had to do with the fact that I thought she was quite attractive but had a girlfriend at the time. My aloofness at Western had more to do with my political views. Western’s always been a school of the privileged and that was particularly true in the 90’s.

I’ve never been poor (until now) but I’ve also had to work for every penny I’ve ever had. At the same time, my brain seems to not have an ability to turn off and work for means that I don’t totally agree with. I worked for Greenpeace for a time for instance. I enjoyed challenging people’s ideas and assumptions. Still do. I’m a contrarian. This hasn’t always made life easy – quite the opposite in fact.

For a time, I think I packed up my views about social justice. I worked for the richest of the rich in Canada, protecting their property values from the encroachment of development that in many cases would serve the larger purpose of adding to the supply of housing. Forest Hill, Lawrence Park and other wealthy neighbourhoods in Toronto were home to the constituents that I served. I recall a meeting at the foot of Avenue Road with residents opposed to a home for persons with depression and other psychiatric needs – not violent people by any means. In fact the President of the Ratepayer’s Association had a son who used the services of the group trying to establish the home.

While I enjoyed the work, former colleagues will relay the stories of me challenging, nay, shouting at constituents on the other end of the phone, testing their positions instead of being a good boy and simply agreeing with whatever heinous statement the person was making. I can’t say I slept well in those years – not that I sleep well now.

So that is what I deal with. I could probably go and get a job at any old place but there are a number of reasons I find this difficult. One – I’m not a fan of impersonal Chain stores that I have now begun to believe harm our culture, our City, our environment more than they help. Two – I feel as though I have a greater contribution to make than any old minimum wage job can enable. Perhaps this is some illusion or narcissistic view but I’ve had some significant mentors in the past who’ve praised my intelligence and need for a challenge. I’ve also met with a US Secretary of Transportation, a Washington State Governor and various other high-ranking officials and know that I am capable and intelligent.

Three – Many jobs serve purposes that I don’t agree with or don’t feel comfortable promoting. A luxury perhaps and I should keep this in mind when I’m complaining about not being employed or having money.

I’m committed to staying in London. I love my hometown. I’ve met a number of tremendously interesting and active people here already and look forward to making more new friends. It’s difficult though. The number of cool, empowering employment opportunities is definitely limited. I have some ideas for things I’d like to do but they require an entrepreneurial spirit that I admittedly sometimes lack. I don’t think its laziness. It might surprise some people but it’s mostly an issue of self-confidence.

So where does that leave me? Perhaps at this point I’m just a complainer, if I’m not an activist? If I could identify some way to ensure that I’ll eventually be able to pay bills – I don’t need a lot of stuff but a place of my own and food on the table would be great, then I’d be happy. I’m impatient. I’ve spent so long thinking and the best ideas I can come up with are related to doing what I love – raising awareness, raising consciousness and pointing out those things in our society that I, and many others, take issue with.

How do we fund that? London certainly has the population to support civic action. Does it have the willingness though? What is the vehicle in which to conduct this sort of activity? I’m certainly meeting lots of like-minded people. People who like me, don’t fit into any simple box – round pegs for square holes I suppose. Can we form some sort of collective? A non-profit. I like the idea of creating a BALLE network here in London. I’m stuck on the Business Plan though.

I’m also frustrated by what I’ve learned is a London communication style. Whether its’ a potential employer, an old friend or a potential lover, people here don’t answer e-mails it seems. They’ll get around to it when it suits them. WTF? Is it just me? Is it a Toronto thing to, at the very least, acknowledge receipt of an e-mail and say, I’ll get back to you when I’ve had some time to think? Do people in this City not really understand the purposes of social networking? Computers? E-mail? If I see another Private Facebook profile, it might make me snap!

I’ve wandered. That’s not unusual for me. I guess I need to light a firecracker; under my own butt and under the butts (and buts) of Londoners? Who’s with me?

Or do I just go back to Western and learn more, take out massive loans and figure out how to raise awareness through academic papers?